Confidence can be a hard thing to come by for some parents. Some moms and dads doubt their parenting abilities and often find themselves questioning whether they're doing a fine job in raising their son or daughter.
Sure, parenting can be overwhelming and it doesn't just stop in a child's infant or toddler stage. Parenting goes beyond high school and college and throughout these stages of a child's life; parents encounter numerous pieces of advice from friends, relatives, colleagues, and sometimes, even from strangers on the internet.
In the earlier stages of parenting, moms and dads often ask themselves if they're raising their child right and in the process, wonder whether they are ready to be a parent or not. Each decision regarding the child's life is questioned and pondered on. When the child hits adolescence, parents are stumped between giving freedom and trusting their son or daughter's judgments.
Believe it or not, parents who doubt themselves are on the right track. Susie Clark, a child and family therapist at Mind Springs Health, wrote on Craig Daily Press that parents who doubt themselves "are actually great parents" because if you "are doubting yourself, you are considering lots of choices and taking the time to make quality decisions."
Clark said that "the absence of doubt equals arrogance" and the best parents display so much humility. She also advised parents to pause for a while when the going gets tough. Not every situation needs an instant reaction and thinking about the options, examining it from every angle, can have great results.
According to Clark, parents should "enjoy the moment" because "whatever comes next will most likely be harder." Having one friend acting as a sounding board helps, too. Through this one special friend, a parent's vulnerabilities, fears, and doubts are vocalized. Doubtful parents can also find acceptance in this friend and realize that they're not alone.
When doubts arise, parents should acknowledge them as "a natural reaction" of human beings instead of fighting it, according to A Fine Parent. Fighting or suppressing doubts can only make it worse and make it harder for a parent to not think about it.
Instead, parents should be "mindful and observe the thoughts as they pass through," A Fine Parent added. Recognize the doubts in the mind, but don't deny or reason or justify with them.
What are your opinions on thoughtful parenting? Do you have advice for parents who doubt themselves? Share your thoughts below.
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