Is Your Child's Love Language Physical Touch?

By Nymfa Aranas, Parent Herald January 25, 11:03 am

Who loves a gentle tap on the shoulder, hugs and kisses before and after going to school? All these may make up our day with the kids. Stop doing them and some of our boys and girls might feel "starved."

Children who are "physical touch native speakers" naturally draw and release their energy through loving appropriate touch from parents and loved ones. It surprises me that even just while watching TV, my daughter wants mom and dad to be sitting close to her. She usually complains when she's alone on the couch, "Oh, nobody's hugging me.... Nobody loves me!"

What if parents are not so proficient in displaying affection through physical touch? That's when we will have to learn to reach out. No need to wait -- if we don't want our kids to suffer from a so-called "love deficit" and be at risk in attempting to fill in the void. I tell you, this is the most sensitive area among the five love languages.

A misguided or ignored physical touch love language may pave the way to sexual abuse, especially with our kids' exposure to the media nowadays. So while we parents can prevent our children from watching sexually suggestive and seductive shows or movies, we should also teach them the definition and boundaries of what is loving, appropriate and non-sexual touch. We can tell them as to how far parents, siblings, close family relatives and friends are allowed to associate with them physically.

My child used to have a younger 4-year-old friend who would refuse to be kissed by anybody other than her mom and dad. She would strongly declare, "No, only my mom and dad can kiss me..."

For us, we allow close friends and relatives to hug and kiss our daughter on the cheeks. But before we label other parents as ultra-conservative, we have to understand that physical touch as a love language is culturally sensitive. This means that we can only go as far as what is appropriate and proper to the relationship, the person and the environment.

What do you think parents out there?

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