Most of the husbands work during the daytime, and when they get home, they have so little time to bond with the kids. More often, the mom gets left with the kids all day long. Some fathers think that as long as he provides for the family, then it will be alright for him to rest after a long day at work.
However, what they do not know is that the kids need their father's presence. And since it will be hard to change your husband, listed below are the things that you can do to help foster father and children relationships.
Seek and Honor Your Husband's Opinion Regarding Your Children
Mothers start bonding with the babies even while still pregnant. After the baby is born, mothers continue bonding with their baby when they breastfeed them. And this is why sometimes moms think that they know more about raising kids than their partner. While it is true that they have an additional nine months of being together, it is still not yet too late for the dad to bond with the child.
What to do?
If your husband has advice that has something to do with your children, listen to him. For example, your husband plans to let your children study in the same school as he did, listen to him. Or if he wants the kids to sleep in their room, follow his advice.
Talk to your husband regarding the plans he has for your family. This way he will be more involved in the decision making especially with the kids.
Let Him Do Specific Tasks
This means that when you ask your husband to do something with your children, be specific. Do not tell him "Would you mind taking the baby while I take a bath?" Your husband would gladly do it, however, he would not know what to do with the baby once he takes him. Men are different from women that when told the same, women would instinctively know what to do. Men, on the other hand, need specific instructions in regard to taking care of their children.
What to do?
When you want to make your husband help in taking care of your children, tell him instead, "Would you mind helping your son brush his teeth while I take a bath?" Or "Could you help read your daughter her favorite princess book while I prepare dinner?" This way your husband would know what to do.
You may also schedule tasks that should be done by your husband routinely. You may tell your husband to brush your kids' teeth before they go to bed daily. This will make your husband spend more quality time with the kids.
Allow Him Room in the Baby Days
Many fathers have a difficult time bonding with the baby because they feel that there is nothing for them to do. Breastfeeding is done by the mom, and what they can only do is change diapers or rock the baby to sleep. So they think that there is very little thing that they can do to bond with the baby.
What to do?
Besides changing diapers and rocking the baby to sleep, fathers can play with the baby when they get home from work, or when the mother needs to take a bath. Apart from this, when you have a new baby, and your firstborn is a toddler, you may let them have a father-child bonding while you take care of the newborn.
Initiate Family Activities
Some husbands are not fans of these activities. But always remember that your kids need their dad. More often, dads get closer to the kids as they grow older. But you can start them young.
What to do?
Set a schedule wherein all the family members are involved. You may go camping as a family, or go swimming together. The more your husband spends time with the kids, the more he will be relaxed and the better his relationship is with his children.
Let Your Husband Take the Lead
People pray privately in their own personal time. However, it is also important to pray and discuss the bible as a group because this will help one learn more about God.
What to do?
Set a time every day where the whole family gathers together to pray and let your husband be the leader. This way the kids get to listen to their dad as he preaches bible verses which will build trust among them.
Make Your Husband Your Priority As Well
If you want your husband to bond with your kids, make sure that you bond with your husband too. Most of the time, after mothers give birth, they focus on taking care of their babies and tend to forget that they still have a husband. When this happens, husbands get jealous, and in return, they will hold a grudge against the baby.
What to do?
Do not forget to bond with your husband, too. When the baby is asleep, take some time to do stuff with your husband. Show him that you still love and care for him. Never sacrifice your husband because of your kids. Your children need you to have a stable relationship.
It would be helpful if you could start letting your husband bond with your kids. The earlier they start, the stronger the bond they can build. Allow them to bond as the kids are growing up. The bond children and parents have is essential for mental health.