Every couple struggles with their ups and downs, but let's consider that when we commit to our partners, we don't always think that our in-laws can be involved in our relationship as well.
Some couples have toxic in-laws, but others don't have. There's a huge difference between divergence in viewpoints and in-laws and corrosive and damaging actions by in-laws that jeopardize our most intimate relationships with our partners.
We may have a say in who we spend the rest of our lives with, but we don't have
The chance to chose our in-laws are. We may get to spend the rest of our relationships with toxic in-laws.
Here's what you could do in dealing with toxic in-laws
Toxic in-laws often try to have your partner turn against you
If your in-laws use the game of "he said, she said," it's a sure sign that they're bringing negativity in both of you. Not to mention that it could lead to a misunderstanding between you two, and you often end up fighting against each other.
Put your and your partners' composure quietly. Both of you must come together as a couple. You may not control what your in-laws think and do, but you have power over how you respond to them. Most importantly, don't lose your cool until you've heard what your partner has to say.
Toxic in-laws are quick to judge
On both sides, there is always a quick judgment when it comes to our in-laws. They never stop treating your partners as their children, no matter how old your partner can get or how independent they become. As a result, they never stop wanting the best for him or themselves.
It would be best if you plan for a chance to discuss with your partner your feelings. You and your partner should commit to change after you've put all of your feelings out on the table and given your partner the room to reveal his side. Let your partner know that you want to change something even if he doesnt believe that there is a problem. Make him understand that the change you want is for you both to find happiness in your relationship.
Toxic in-laws are often overdramatic and very reactive
This kind of toxic in-laws often causes any circumstance, big or small, to respond negatively. They will tend to create a scene or place you in a defensive situation.
You don't have to be dragged into their drama if you're dealing with this kind of negativity. Keep your best to maintain your composure to get yourself and your family out of the situation. Please make every effort to keep your interaction with them to a minimum level.
ALSO READ: 5 Usual Reasons Why Couples Get Divorced
Toxic in-laws will try to insert themselves in decision-making
There are some in-laws considered as a bit too involved and pushy. Sometimes it can be inconvenient for you, but it is not harmful at all. But if your in-laws become involved in your decisions like they want their views to be given equal weight to yours, consider your relationship having an issue.
You will only have a few choices in this situation. If you want to go the more direct path, you and your partner can clarify to your in-laws that, while you respect their input and advice, this is a decision that only the two of you believe is necessary.
Toxic in-laws often play the blame game
Toxic in-laws, in general, are the norm in not taking responsibility for their own decisions and actions. They will find the best ways to distort the facts, and they could lie or exploit others to blame you and others for the problem they created.
It would be best if you didn't accept the blame they place on you. You may choose to disregard their whining or limit your connections or involvement to their ranting while they're accusing others.
Toxic in-laws will make you feel bad more often
In-laws disliking you is very much possible. Unfortunately, your in-laws being adults doesn't always mean they'll act maturely throughout every situation. Instead, they will say and do things that will intentionally offend you and hurt you and get on your nerves. This happens most of the time, so you must be prepared.
There's no denying that in-laws like this are hard to deal with. What you can do is you may try to talk over your in-laws and tell them that their acts and words have hurt your feelings. However, they will likely only consider you overly sensitive, but at least you give it a try. Limiting your contacts or communication with your in-laws is your best bet here.
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