Parents who are tired of saying no to their children loosen the rules and allow their children to do whatever they want for 24 hours - as long as it is not illegal, unethical, life-threatening, or would irritate the neighbors. It's known as a "Yes Day," and it's also the title of a new Netflix film. However, in reality, parents are saying no to yes day.
In the movie, Allison, the mother, lives her life by saying yes to everything (jumping out of planes, traveling the world, etc.). That's how she met Carlos, the father, an equally daring character whom she eventually marries—her "yes" partner, and they soon had children.
The word "no" eventually became their default response to their kids. It's a necessary transition that helps to protect children, but Allison goes too far with it.
When Allison and Carlos are summoned to a parent-teacher meeting, that's where the story unravels. Allison being a dictator who makes her children feel caged is the subject of a haiku written by one of their children. Their son has made a video comparing Stalin, Mussolini, and Allison.
Later, they run into the school guidance counselor, who proposes a "yes day," in which you say yes to anything your children suggest for 24 hours. There are certain restrictions (no crimes, for example), but nothing is off-limits in general.
Parents may discover that they will be surprised at how simple it is to open themselves up to saying yes a little more often. Your children can become more sensitive, compliant, and welcoming as a result. They could also discover that saying yes is enjoyable. But real-life parents are saying no to yes day.
When "no" is warranted
There can be occasions when the word "no" is overused and even detrimental to our children's growth. Perhaps a different reaction will encourage them to take chances or develop their imagination. Here are a few explanations of why and some ways to keep the peace without constantly denying children.
Stop unwanted behavior
Kids have a reputation for doing things that irritate their parents. As a result, parents use the word "no" to get their children to avoid doing something dangerous, messy, or noisy. This is particularly evident when a child is a toddler. When a child is continually told no, he or she becomes desensitized to the word. Then, when their children need it (for like a hot stove, or busy street, etc.), the word "no" is somewhat meaningless to them.
Do this: Instead of pulling the dog's tail, redirect the children with constructive alternatives like, "Please wait until I finish talking on the phone so that I can give you my undivided attention," for example. Save the word "no" for when you mean it.
Out of habit
If parents are exhausted, and patience has run out, the best way to get through the day is to say "no" out of habit. They become a broken record when the word "no" slips off their tongue too quickly and rapidly.
Do this: Count how many times you say no in a day and what you're saying no to. Would a different answer have been appropriate in any of those situations? It certainly won't harm anybody.
It is appropriate for parents to say no, and there's nothing wrong with that. You may have other non-negotiables as well. To keep a happy home, we always have to say no.
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