3 Hacks for Talking to Your Teenager That Will Make Your Life Easier

We all want to see our children grow up and find that thing that defines who they are, to discover what drives them so they are equipped to make something of themselves. But, sometimes, this is a waiting game that all parents have to play. 

Your child may not figure it out until late in adulthood, while others are seemingly born knowing.

Regardless of where your child is on the ladder of life, as a parent, you have an obligation to teach them how to climb the ladder and to become the best version of themselves that they can. Often, this is done with a lot of love and patience. 

Some parenting duties, however, are a bit more basic. Especially when it comes to teens. 

You have to teach them how to drive, help them compare auto insurance policies, and buy their first prom dress. Regardless, no matter what your teen is going through, you have to learn about your teen's world and be able to talk to them. 

Relate to Living in a Teenage World

No matter how "hip" or "woke" you think you are, chances are your teenager thinks you're an idiot. In fact, you probably embarrass them much more often than you realize, simply by just being you.

But, don't let these little things hurt your ego. Your world is far and removed from theirs. Even if you're a young parent of a teenager, the world was still a much different place for you when you were a teen than it is for them now. 

The generation gap is real, and this is one fact that you need to accept in order to better relate to your teenager. 

Sure, you may like the same music or at least some of it. But, the things that affect them aren't nearly as relatable to you because they exist in a world where their mind is still developing, taking in experiences and forming their world view.

The teenage worldview is still new, unformed, and constantly changing. Remember this when trying to relate, and you'll have a much better parenting experience.

How to Talk to Your Teenager

Simply saying that it's hard to talk to a teenager is a gross understatement. First of all, a teenager has to actually listen to you when you're talking for this to work, and often, this is a near impossibility. 

But, this is because you're failing to relate to them on their level. So, naturally, they tune most of what you say completely out. 

Whether you're attempting to talk to your teenager about going through puberty, relationships, or the simple, daily worries they might have, matters very little. You have to establish common ground and speak to them in such a way that they'll actually want to listen to you.

Instead of starting in with a lecture by saying "when I was your age," consider asking them if they've talked to one of their close friends about the issue at hand.

Inquire what their friends have advised, and see if you can bridge the gap with your own advice and insight. 

This shows your teen that you actually care about their world. It shows them that you can actually relate to their situation because you're interested in what other people in their life do and say. 

Remember You're Raising an Adult

You're not raising a child, you're raising an adult. If you approach speaking with your teen from this perspective, you're likely to gain much more respect from them simply for treating them like someone your own age. 

Give your teen responsibilities. Let them feel important and trusted. 

Share your own personal worries and concerns with them and see what they think about it. The advice they can give you might actually be more genuine and useful than what you'd get if you talked with a friend or relative.  

Above all, prepare to be surprised. If you're fortunate enough to remember your teenage years, you may recall the time when you thought you were invincible, a time when you thought you knew everything. 

Remember that mindset, and relate to it. But, above all, treat them as your equal and become the best friend they'll ever have in life. This is your greatest tool for raising an adult.