Dealing With Controlling Partner: You May Need To Consider Ending the Relationship

Controlling Partner Controlling Relationship Manipulative low self-esteem Toxic relationship Intimidation insecurity guilt

By Camille Hutchison , Parent Herald Sep 19, 08:12 am

A controlling partner eventually leads to a controlling relationship wherein one partner dominates the other in an unhealthy and self-serving manner. If one partner makes the other partner feel insecure and intimidated, they could be in a controlling relationship. Controlling relationships is a form of abuse and is based on a power imbalance, per Web MD.

There are many ways wherein feelings of intimidation, insecurity, and guilt can be brought up; it can be physically, emotionally, sexually, financially, spiritually, or even psychologically. People who tend to control their partners usually have low self-esteem and past traumatic experiences; hence, it doesn't have anything to do with the current partner, the victim of inappropriate control. Controlling partners want to manipulate the other and even assert their power to take control.

Controlling a relationship does not only happen in a relationship but can also include family members, friends, and colleagues. Controlling behavior does not always focus on physical aggression and outright demands. If you don't know the signs of toxic relationships, you won't possibly realize you're being controlled.

Doesn't respect your need for time alone

One of the signs that you're in a controlled relationship is when you feel like you don't have enough time for yourself because your partner doesn't like being excluded from your plans and hinders you from having a life without them. One big sign that your partner is controlling is when you leave the house without them, and they consistently message or call to check where you are and who you are with.

While being in a controlling relationship will significantly impact the victim, they won't notice this at first. If your partner seems not supportive of seeing the people you love or seeing your loved ones makes you feel guilty or selfish for wanting it, you're probably in a relationship that doesn't allow you to grow, which is considered toxic.

The most common sign of a controlling partner is when they are excessively jealous of anyone or frequently accuse you of doing something wrong. Someone who appears to be controlling will attempt to put you on the defensive by accusing you of cheating on them. Usually, victims will try to understand what the manipulator has been through; however, they shouldn't project those emotions onto you even if they have traumas from their past and other relationships.

Giving them too much understanding would have them blaming you even for minor things; they would make you think that everything's your fault, even if it's not, per Healthline.

Ending the controlling relationship

In reality, tolerating controlling behavior in a relationship can be exhausting and suffocating. Also, it doesn't benefit the victim's health; therefore, if you're in a controlling relationship, the solution is to end it immediately, as it brings no good.

A controlling relationship only forces you to do things based on your partner's wants. This also causes the victim to put their goals and aspirations on the back burner. According to Marriage, controlling people manipulate you and eventually makes you codependent. Victims usually begin having difficulty making decisions, even the simple ones.