How To Be the Best Birthing Partner

Birthing Partner Best Birthing Partner Preparing for Birthing Preparing for Labor

By Jo Anne Hubert , Parent Herald Sep 21, 01:55 am

A Hamilton mom can still remember how she and her husband aced labor even without a birth plan.

Rachel Brannon said that she and her husband "winged it" during her birthing process. It became a victorious experience because of one thing her husband Chris did.

Chris not only supported every call she made but was "totally on board" for what she wanted.

She decided in advance that she wanted to fight off the epidural as long as possible and told her husband this. So whenever the pain was too intense to take, and she would say that maybe it was time to have the epidural, Chris would lovingly motivate her to try one more contraction. Her husband's support and presence made a big, big difference that she cannot help but share to Today's Parents how much she loved her birthing experience.

Birthing Partner can affect the birthing experience

It is not only Brannon, but there are also a lot of wives and mothers that have expressed how beautiful their birthing experience was because of the help and presence of their husband or a birthing partner.

There is evidence that having a birthing partner who offers and provides continuous and consistent one-to-one support can help the expecting mom to cope better with labor and be happier with her birth experience.

In the scary journey of giving birth, birth partners are crucial characters.

A birth partner can be the baby's father, a relationship partner, a doula, a family member, or a friend. They play a significant role throughout the birthing-from the antenatal period all through the postnatal period, contrary to what some think that birth partners are just "spare parts" during labor.

Nine Ways to be the most awesome birthing partner

Here are ten expert tips on becoming the most awesome birthing partner:

1. Do Research.

Do reading beforehand. Read pregnancy books together, and share the things learned. Most importantly, research and know what happens during labor. The birth partner must understand that labor will be more than a few hours and that every woman's labor journey is different from one to the other. Thus, as birth partners, they must know and understand the three distinct stages of labor.

2. Attend prenatal classes together.

Meghan Moloney Keating shared how grateful she was that she and her husband attended prenatal classes together because it helped him not to be caught off guard when things weren't going as planned, especially when she was required to have a vacuum-assisted birth. Heidi Coughlin, a former labor and delivery nurse and registered midwife with Hope Midwives in Edmonton, warned not to attend those weekend crash courses but those classes that run a few weeks.

3. Understand the support that she wants and needs.

As Keating mentioned above, birthing will not always be by the book. Changes will happen, and decisions need to be made. Thus, the birth partner should discuss what kind of support she wants so that the goal will be clear and manageable when unexpected things arise.

4. Take care of yourself and manage your own fears.

Of course, birth partners do not want to be unwell at the times that they are needed the most. Birth partners need to keep themselves hydrated and healthy. Moreover, birth partners do not want to be overwhelmed by what they will be seeing or experiencing. Thus, it is suggested that they mentally prepare themselves by watching Youtube labor videos and asking new parents for details.

5. Capture the moments and create memories for her.

Coughlin suggests documenting and capturing the moment with photos and videos. But make sure that the kind of documentation has been discussed beforehand so that the birthing mom would not get upset knowing that it is such an intimate and intense moment.

6. Learn to distract her.

Birth partners should know how to distract the birthing mom from her contractions because the more she focuses on them, the more painful it will be. Keep track of the contractions but do not focus on them too much unless they are longer, stronger, and closer, which means it's time to go to the hospital.

7. Let it feel like home.

According to Coughlin, women's birthing can be at its best when they are comfortable or relaxed, so birth partners should take the extra mile to ensure this. Bring microwaveable heat packs and stress balls, extra pillows and easy snacks, and an extra layer of clothing. Create a playlist of her favorite songs, the hypnobirthing downloads that she listens to, or download TV shows and movies that will distract her in case of long labor periods.

8. Be present.

Be present before labor, during labor, and most especially after. Advocate for her, especially when she cannot care for herself. Do not leave her side.

9. Be prepared for postpartum.

It will not only be the mother who will feel a hangover a week after giving birth. Birth partners will feel this too. They will be as exhausted as the mother, but they must be firmer as she needs them. Thus, make sure that the few key things are ready and waiting for your arrival at home, like "padsicles" to soothe her sore lady parts and easy meals that can just be heated in the oven. Stock the fridge and cabinets prior so no one needs to go grocery shopping.