Andrew Garfield Feels 'Some Guilt' for Not Having Kids Before Turning 40

Andrew Garfield Guilt on Not Yet Having Kids Turning 40 Failed Expectations Turning Another Milestone Losing a Parent Losing a Mother to Cancer pancreatic cancer television

By Jo Anne Hubert , Parent Herald Nov 19, 07:25 am

Photo: (Photo : Getty Images/Mike Coppola)

This award-winning actor is speaking up about failed expectations and being in a different place in life as his milestone birthday approaches.

Andrew Garfield is learning that life doesn't always transpire based on one's expectations, and he shared this realization in his recent interview with GQ magazine.

The Golden Globe Best Actor awardee for his film Tick, Tick...Boom expressed how he is in a different place in life than he has expected now that he will be celebrating his 40th birthday next year in August.

He said that he and his high school friends are turning the big "four-zero" together, and yet interestingly, they are all "shacked up and a couple of kids deep," when he always believed that he would be the first one to have settled down and have kids.

Letting go

Garfield even admitted "some guilt" at one point for still not having kids before turning 40.

"(I'm) releasing myself from the societal obligation of procreating by the time I'm 40. It's more about accepting a different path than what was kind of expected of me from birth, like 'By this time you will have done this, and you will have at least one child,' that kind of thing.I think I have some guilt around that," Superman actor declared as quoted by People.

One thing the actor has also significantly recognized is that life is a "perpetual practice of letting s--t go." Letting go of an idea that something should look, feel or be this. Thus, he has come to terms with letting go of having kids anytime soon, yet he admitted that it is "a big one" to let go of, especially after he lost his mother to pancreatic cancer in 2019.

He expressed that he would have loved his mother to have met his children, if he would have them, but in some ways he comforted himself stating that he believes his mom will be with him "in spirit," especially "for all the big ones."

Ultimately, Garfield now knows that "life is in charge," and he is curious about the things that will be happening.

Losing and loving

The Under the Banner of Heaven actor's mother, Lynn, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer before he started filming The Eyes of Tammy Faye.

He said that his mom encouraged him to go to North Carolina in 2019 to film, but her condition worsened. Production was temporarily shut down so that the British actor could return to their home in the UK and spend the last days of her mother with her at hospice care, The Independent reported.

The GQ interviewer stressed how when the actor was speaking about losing his mom, there was no feeling of regret, and agreed and thanked God there really is none.

He emphasized that it would have to be because there was nothing left unsaid. But what surprised him, and he described it as a "wild thing," is that even if they loved her mom fully, there still remains love to give.

Though it would have felt so good to continue loving her mother in person, he now has access to this unconditional, infinite kind of love that he only got through loss. Though the grief is never-ending, he discovered that love is never-ending as well, and it's a beautiful "nature of love."