Where Do Parents Get It Wrong When It Comes to Their Kids' Milestones

Parents get it wrong when they start to obsess over or be passive and indifferent toward their children's developmental milestones, as this can cause unintended harm.

These days, parents do not only celebrate childhood developmental milestones. They either stress over them or do not mind at all.

This is confirmed by a recent poll discussed by Study Finds, which stated that around six out of ten parents in the U.S. worry about their little ones meeting their developmental milestones.

The survey was participated by 2,000 parents with children aged three and below. They were asked about their concerns about their children's development. Results revealed that more than half (59%) worry about their babies being unable to meet certain milestones at a certain age or schedule.

Sixty-five percent worry that their babies cannot say "mama" or "dada" by their first birthday, while 29 percent worry that the kids cannot walk, feed themselves, or smile by a specific age.

Further, 69 percent of parents fear negative implications will be reflected in their parenting ways if their kids do not meet their milestones on time.

On the other hand, several parents take the opposite approach and pay little attention to their kids meeting their milestones on time. They trust that a child can develop at their own pace.

Parents should not be too passive

Many questions arise about children's developmental milestones. What is the point of childhood milestones? How should parents utilize them? Are milestones a crucial tool or sign to help parents spot developmental deficiencies and abnormalities early? Or are these milestones just another way for parents to "one-up each other?"

"On a very concrete level, a milestone is a description of a behaviour of a child that parents either say their child can do, or cannot do," explained Chris Sheldrick, a research associate professor who focuses on pediatric screening protocols at Boston University.

He then explained it through a race illustration - if one is at a 10k race, when one reaches the 5k point, one will find a marker, which can be described as reaching a milestone.

Healthcare professionals use these milestones to check kids' progress and assess their development. Thus, experts are encouraging parents to know, even "roughly," when their babies should do things for the first time.

Healthcare professionals further warned that parents who have a "relaxed-view" of their children's milestones, assuming that their kids are starting late due to their more laid-back personality, may be missing explanations and other crucial information.

New York's pediatric physical therapist Kaitlin Rickerd stated that when children's abilities start to fall outside the expected ranges, there is usually something that needs to be addressed. And, whether it is a small or big issue, it should be checked.

The National Scientific Council on the Developing Child emphasized that intervention at the youngest age possible is key. Delayed speech can be a symptom of autism. Later walking can be a sign of cerebral palsy. Knowing these differences early can allow parents to understand and support their kid's unique development.

Read Also: Mom Compiles Videos of Children's Milestones After Learning She was Terminally Ill

Parents should not be too obsessed either

However, the professional view of milestones as mainly screening tools is different from how some parents view them.

As the study stated, most parents worry about their children's milestones because they treat them as predictive and sometimes "competitive" barometers of their children's abilities or talents.

And this can be harmful. Shoving the kids to achieve milestones can backfire, BBC reported.

Evidence shows how frequent or earlier use of baby walkers and jumpers can hamper motor development.

Moreover, developmental milestones are not a universal concept; experts would want to remind parents. Interpretation and definition may vary between cultures and individual families.

Parents should know that while milestones are helpful, they need not be sources of anxiety. Sheldrick expressed that milestones are essential and are worth the attention of parents. Parents should not think twice about having their kids checked if there is something concerning, but they do not need to "freak out."

As Amanda Ruggeri concluded, it is unlikely that one's life will be defined by whether one has already walked by 18 months or at an earlier or later stage.

Related Article: Baby and Toddler Developmental Milestones Changed After 20 Years to Have Clearer Benchmark for Delays