You Can Predict Divorce: Research Says This Is The Number One Predictor

By Snow, Parent Herald February 24, 07:22 am
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Probably 100 percent of couples who get married understand the concept of marriage as a lifelong commitment. Yet, why is it that according to the American Psychological Association, about 40 to 50 percent of couples in America ends up in a divorce? One world-renowned therapist has the answer as to what is the number one predictor of divorce.

According to Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D., author of "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," the number one predictor of divorce is contempt. Yes, this may be considered as a usual and common feeling, but it is the first step that couples take as they climb their way into an inevitable divorce.

Yahoo News reported that the "disgust-feeling" you may feel for your partner is the type of contempt that can wreak havoc to your relationship. In studying hundreds of couples over a span of four decades at The Gottman Institute, experts found that while it is normal for couples to argue or disagree, what makes it unhealthy is when you allow yourself to reach a level of contempt or disgust.

Mike McNulty, PhD, LCSW, one of the leading experts at the institute said, "All relationships involve ongoing, perpetual problems that will resurface. It's how you handle them -- either with kindness or contempt -- that can make or break you as a couple."

According to McNulty, if you're feeling contempt, which is the number one predictor of divorce, towards your partner, it does not automatically mean that you're already headed for doom. And, if you are still at the stage of constant arguments, or feeling angry, be thankful because it denotes that you have not reached the point of surrender where you treat each other as roommates instead of spouses.

He said, "Relationships die by ice rather than fire." Couples, who stop talking to each other, tend to grow more distant, and as per the words of McNulty, "Emotional disengagement is truly the ultimate sign of a relationship headed towards divorce."

Before things run out of hand, it is best that you restore communication between you and your partner. When you find yourself rolling your eyes at something your partner said, put a stop to it and make a reality check. Remember, your partner isn't perfect, just like you. Preventing divorce also requires effort from you both.

Today has given some good advice on how to strengthen your relationship and prevent divorce. Try to see the good side of your spouse instead of focusing on his handicaps. Give a compliment as this can help foster the spark between the two of you.

In addition, you can also prevent divorce by remaining faithful, taking care of your appearance and doing things together. Most of all, don't forget to say, "I love you." 

So always remember this number one predictor of divorce. Be on your guard against it. That way, you can take the steps to prevent divorce from happening.

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