Children's mental health is in crisis, yet many parents still misunderstand what their kids are going through.
Across the world, doctors and child experts report rising anxiety, depression, and even self‑harm in children and teens, a trend that worsened during and after the COVID‑19 pandemic. Major pediatric groups have gone so far as to call this a "national emergency" and are urging families to take mental health as seriously as physical health.
This article looks at common mistakes parents make about children's mental health, using recent research to explain what is really happening and how parents can respond.
1. Believing "Kids Are Too Young to Have Real Mental Health Problems"
Many adults still think mental illness is something that only happens to grown‑ups or older teens. Research shows otherwise. Even preschool and early school‑age children can have serious problems with anxiety, mood, and behavior that affect sleep, learning, friendships, and physical health.
Doctors now warn that ongoing sadness, strong worries, or big behavior changes in children are not "just personality." They can be early signs of conditions like depression, anxiety, or ADHD, and they should be taken seriously if they last for weeks and get in the way of daily life.
Ignoring these signs because a child is "too young" often means support comes late. Studies also show that children who struggle early are at higher risk of worse problems in adolescence if they do not get help. Early attention gives kids a much better chance to recover and build healthy coping skills, according to the National Library of Medicine.
2. Dismissing Symptoms as "A Phase" or "Bad Behavior"
Another common mistake is to see every problem as either a phase or misbehavior that needs tougher rules. Of course, all children have tantrums, mood swings, and bad days. What matters is change and duration.
Health experts say parents should pay attention when they see things like:
- Sadness, irritability, or anger that lasts for two weeks or more
- Loss of interest in activities the child used to enjoy
- Big changes in sleep or appetite
- Falling grades or refusing school
- Withdrawing from friends or family
- Talk about death, self‑harm, or not wanting to be alive
These are warning signs, not "drama" or laziness. When adults see only disobedience, they often respond with punishment instead of support, which can make the child feel more ashamed, angry, or hopeless. Experts recommend that parents first ask, "What is this behavior trying to tell me?" before assuming a child is simply being difficult.
3. Blaming Screens Alone — and Missing the Bigger Picture
Parents are right to worry about screens, but many get the story half‑right. New research shows that high levels of screen and social media use are linked to more symptoms of depression, anxiety, and behavior problems in children and teens, UCSF said. Some studies even find that each extra hour of social media is tied to higher risk of depression, especially in girls.
At the same time, experts stress that how and why children use screens matters as much as the total hours. For some young people, online spaces offer support, friendship, and information. For others, they increase bullying, body dissatisfaction, and exposure to self‑harm content.
The mistake is thinking, "If I just remove the phone, the problem is solved." Screens can worsen or hide struggles, but they rarely cause all of them. Children also need sleep, exercise, in‑person friends, safe homes, and caring adults.
A recent trial found that cutting leisure screen time for two weeks improved mood and social behavior, but it worked best when the whole family changed routines together. The goal is balance, not blame.
4. Assuming Kids Have "Bounced Back" From the Pandemic
Because schools and activities have reopened, many adults hope children have simply moved on from COVID‑19. Evidence suggests the effects are still unfolding. Reviews of studies from many countries show higher rates of anxiety, depression, and stress in children during the pandemic and even after restrictions ended.
Factors include long school closures, isolation from friends, family financial stress, grief, and more time online. Some children seemed "okay" at first but showed more anxiety and depression months or years later, a "sleeper effect" where problems appear after the crisis seems over.
When parents think, "that was years ago; they're fine now," they may miss the link between current struggles and past stress. Understanding this connection makes it easier to respond with empathy instead of frustration.
5. Fearing Labels and Treatment
Stigma is still a major barrier. Studies show many parents hold negative beliefs about children's mental illness and treatment. They fear their child will be seen as "crazy," judged at school, or pushed into medication.
These fears matter. Research finds that stigma, myths about suicide, and low familiarity with mental health explain almost half of parents' reluctance to seek professional help for their child. Parents who feel ashamed are less likely to talk to doctors or teachers, which delays diagnosis and care.
Modern treatment is not just pills. It can include talking therapies, parent coaching, school supports, and, when needed, carefully chosen medication. Early, evidence‑based care helps most children function better at home and school and reduces the chance of crises like self‑harm or emergency room visits.
6. Waiting for a Crisis Instead of Acting Early
Many families wait until a child is failing classes, refusing to leave their room, or talking about self‑harm before asking for help. Pediatric groups now urge parents to treat mental health like vaccines or checkups: routine and preventive, not just crisis care, as per the JAMA Network.
Parents can start by:
- Regularly checking in about feelings in simple language
- Watching for lasting changes in mood, sleep, appetite, and school performance
- Talking to their child's pediatrician early, not only when things are severe
- Working with schools to support learning and friendships
Children do not need perfect parents; they need adults who take their inner world seriously. When parents move past myths and fear, listen closely, and seek help early, they give their children the best chance to grow up mentally healthy and resilient.
