Society today calls everyone to be perfect. Even parents, they focus on providing their kids a perfect upbringing -- a perfect childhood, a perfect home. They really try their very best to become perfect parents to their kids -- perfect mother and perfect dad. But is there really a thing called "perfect parent"?
According to Donald Winnicott, a psychoanalyst and pediatrician, there's a good - enough mother. But never a "perfect parent." In a report posted in HuffPost Parents, the term "mother" can now be interposed with the term "parent" or maybe another primary caregiver.
Winnicott interacted with thousands of mothers as well as their babies. Based on this experience, he supposed that in order to be a good mother, one should be a good-enough mother. A good-enough mother, according to Winnicott, pays close attention to her child, gives a holding surrounding, makes sacrifices, offers both emotional and physical care and whenever she fails, she stands up and tries again. However, parents generally do not begin is such manner. Being a good-enough mother is a gradual process.
Winnicott's depiction of a good enough mother isn't much like a goddess but a gardener. She tends her kids with care, effort, patience and love. She loves her kids but also has a space to hate them. And most especially, she is human and real.
Real parents are the finest type of parents. Real parents provide truthful experiences in order for their kids to develop important life skills. Kids should learn how to handle frustrations and disappointments. They should see that their parents can also become nonsense at times.
So what should you do now? According to Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor, rather than trying to become a perfect mother (or parent), aim to be a "good enough" mother (or parent). Stop idealizing parenting and start to become a real parent.
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