Co-Parenting With A Toxic Ex: What You Can Control When Sharing Parenting Roles With The Enemy

It's a challenge to co-parent when ex-partners do not get along. For the sake of the kids, however, moms or dads have to learn to share parenting roles with the "enemy." There's high potential for drama and conflict when dealing with a toxic ex but parents should be able to manage this if they focus only on the things they can control.

So, what can a parent control when co-parenting with a toxic ex? The biggest factor is controlling yourself, according to Huffington Post. How you talk to your ex and how you react when the buttons are pushed can trigger conflicts for as long as you let it consume you.

So that this won't eat you up, divert anger, resentment and other negative energy for the enemy into dealing with your own issues instead. Work at examining and fixing these negative feelings for your personal growth and inner peace. Acknowledging and facing these demons will help you move on, instead of remaining trapped and hurt by continually engaging the other person in a conflict.

Control what only happens in your home, where your relationship with the children is the most important focus, according to Divorce Mag. Achieve to create a healthy environment where the kids won't have to feel one parent's home is better than the other as there shouldn't be any reason to compete in this regard with the ex.

Control your mindset about co-parenting and stop looking at a toxic ex as the enemy. Recognizing that the ex is a collaborator might help in working out the disagreements better as ex-partners can compromise if there is no antagonism.

"Research shows that parents who can put aside their differences for the sake of the children, learn to get along and co-parent effectively," therapist Francine Ronis said, per Good Therapy. "[This] makes the transition to a new family structure less stressful and traumatic."