Raising Twins To Be Trusted Friends

how to raise twins trusted friends twin bond twin attachment individuality

By Fatima Virrey , Parent Herald Mar 22, 07:54 pm

Sometimes, parents treat twins as halves of a whole.

According to experts, raising twins should not be this way because treating them like copies of each other may cause interdependence and even developmental arrests.

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How to raise twins to be trusted friends?

So, the question parents of twins keep on asking is, "How to raise twins to be trusted friends?"

There are several ways that parents could follow. Here are some of those ways that experts share in an article published in Psychology Today:

1. Do not over-parent

Whether the twins or not, over-parenting is usually frowned upon by experts.

Helicopter parenting tends to cause parents to live through their children. What parents fail to see is how they are no longer focusing on the individuality of their children.

Although it would be nice to provide emotional development and cognitive accomplishments for the twins, it does not indicate natural parenting.

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2. Understand twin attachment

Knowing how to raise a twin to be trusted friends mean respecting their individuality. It does not mean that parents should forget that twins also share a special bond.

According to experts, it will be harmful to young twins for parents to ignore their twin bond.

Part of acknowledging the twin bond understands that twins develop a twin language. Twins develop a special communication style which is also part of their reaction to emotional events.

Experts suggest that parents should find the balance between understanding twin attachment and respecting each child's individuality. Though this could be challenging, experts say that it is a happy balance.

3. Remember: Twins are not opposites of each other

Knowing how to raise twins as trusted friends ensure that parents do not treat their children as the exact opposite of one another.

Although they have to be treated individuals, this does not mean that they have to be the exact opposite.

If parents do this, there is a chance that the twins will have serious identity issues.

When one of the twins is favored, this can lead to jealousy, anger, loneliness. Eventually, when the twins continue to develop deep rage toward each other, they may choose to live in separate ways.

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What happens when parents treat twins as copies?

There could be two different effects of treating wins as copies. The first is called interdependency. Twins tend to become interdependent when they did not have enough individual attention while growing up. Because they feel they only have each other, they choose to stay dependent on each other throughout their lives.

Another effect of treating twins as copies is enmeshment. This effect is the opposite of interdependency. Because of longing for closeness during childhood, twins develop anger during adolescence until adulthood.

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