Woman Exposes on Tiktok Parents Using Facebook to Return or Re-Home Their Adopted Children

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By Lilian Scott , Parent Herald Oct 08, 11:43 pm

An adoptee called out parents who have adopted children and posted messages on Facebook groups about wanting to return or re-home them. The woman exposed the discouraging situation for many of these families.

Kirsta compiled the posts from Facebook groups in a video on TikTok to raise awareness on what happens to some adopted children. Most of the posts indicated frustrations from the adopters because of their mounting legal fees to cancel their parental rights.

These parents turn to Facebook for advice or help on how to disrupt the adoption process. Some were bold enough to openly say that they were looking for another family willing to take their child. Many of these cases involved children who have been living with their adoptive families for years.

The Frustrations of the Adoptive Parents

One parent said she wanted to give up a 15-year-old boy with a hearing condition who has been with them for almost seven years. Another shared that the international agencies would not help them dissolve their adoption because the boy has medical or behavioral issues. He is an older child who has been with them for ten years.

A mom complained that she has an adopted son who gained some weight after living with them for three weeks only, so she wanted him re-homed, while another parent said they do not know how to get rid of their adopted son, who has become violent. These parents felt that he could hurt them if he found out he had to be re-homed, and she was thinking of just taking out the boy from their house.

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Kirsta said many of these parents had not been prepared to have adopted children, and they did not do their research before deciding on the adoption. They do not understand that most adopted children will likely develop ADHD or ODD, wherein they exhibit challenging behaviors as they assimilate with the family.

In most cases, these behavioral issues should be expected of adopted children because they had been through a trauma. Kirsta said that parents should have all the patience if they want to take in children who have been abandoned instead of giving up on them.

"You're teaching them that love is conditional, you can be re-abandoned, further traumatizing the child," Kirsta said.

Dissolving an Adoption

In the U.S., one in five adoptions gets legally dissolved because the adoptive parents changed their minds or changed their lifestyle. The Atlantic confirmed that many of these re-homing activities take place on Facebook and other internet platforms because the legal process is long and limiting.

An agency like Second Chance Adoptions, which has been operating since the late 90s, helps out parents seeking to re-home their adopted children, many of whom are children of color. Second Chance Adoptions felt that they should assist some parents posting their frustrations on Facebook as letting them handle the re-adoption themselves would put their adopted children in grave danger.

Experts agreed with Kirsta that re-adoption bears more risks of emotional trauma for the children involved. They could harbor "insecure attachments" and struggle with depression or mood instability, which they could carry over in adulthood.

Mayra Mendez, a licensed therapist, said that families involved with re-adoptions should know that their child would need therapy to deal with the adoption disruption.