Hands-Off Parenting Approach Works Best In Disciplining Children Who Suck In Sharing

By Collie Lane, Parent Herald January 04, 08:34 pm

The hands-off parenting approach works well to children who don't like to share. One mom who has a toddler that sucks in sharing actually said it works for her. She said she never insists to her child to share instead, she lets her make the decision on her own.

Lisa Sadikman has a 5-year-old daughter whom she said to be at worst when it comes to sharing. In fact, the child would put away her favorite costume whenever a friend of her comes over, instead of dressing it and showing it. During breakfast, the child would fret of having to share the hula-hoop during their recess time.

Sadikman realized sharing does not come easily to her daughter, whether it is a returnable thing like her favorite pencil or a lick of an ice cream. Although she has tried everything to teach the child the value of sharing, the toddler still refuses to share.

"I point out the benefits of sharing, kindness being the number one reason it's a good choice but usually end up coaxing, cajoling, and even bribing her to share," Sadikman wrote in Scary Mommy. She added that she often does those in the company of other adults and when her daughter declines to share, she can't help but feel judged.

Curious about her daughter's behavior, the mother wondered and contemplated about so many things. Until she realized that she doesn't have to insist sharing but rather guide her to make a decision by herself. She said she wanted her daughter to have and know the feeling that one has when he/she shares something.

When kids suck in sharing, Hand in Hand Parenting said it is usually for one of two reasons. First is that the kids have not been able to create a sense of connection in the past hours. Second is that something has happened to remind them of bad or hurtful times in the past when they felt alone or afraid.

Experts said that children have to feel good and experience strong connections to recognize the value of sharing. They should also feel warmly loved and accepted.

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