The Secret To A Happy Marriage Isn't About Demanding Equality, Here's Why!

By Amanda Moore, Parent Herald April 06, 04:00 am

An ideal marriage involves a give-and-take between partners. This doesn't mean, however, that husbands and wives should demand equality from each other in order to have a happy marriage.

Dividing roles and responsibilities 50-50 might promote fairness and balance in a marriage but upholding this view isn't the secret to marital bliss. In fact, it might bring more resentments, conflicts and regrets in the relationship.

Expecting one's partner to do half of the work in a marriage is a recipe for disaster. Couples should be a team but having these expectations take away stuff that help them grow as individuals.

Couples demanding equal roles lose their flexibility in dealing with relationship challenges. The demands or expectations also pit couples against each other that they end up fighting when someone fails to deliver, experts Phyllis Koch-Sheras and Peter Sheras wrote on Your Tango.

"You can't spend your time calculating '50 percent in, 50 percent back,'" Dr. Karl A. Pillemer wrote, via Huffington Post. He said the 50-50 marriage is a myth and a happy union doesn't have to calculate how much or how often partners gave or took.

It also doesn't mean one has to be the martyr in the relationship or do most of the sacrifices for the family. Equality in a marriage is in learning how to balance. Partners have to be open and fair towards each other, which doesn't require splitting every role 50-50.

The secret then to a happy marriage is willingness and cooperation in working through the challenges of balancing everything. The secret to a happy marriage is in partners accepting each other, including the shortcomings or filling these shortcomings with support.

A union goes through fewer tensions if partners focus on making the other person feel special. This is what love is about, as written in 1 Cor 13:4-7 in the Bible.

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